Last year I went on a massive weight loss regime, starting off with strenuous daily cardio, up to 7 days a week and, therefore, no rest days in between. I cut my daily intake of calories to 1200 calories. I lost 7kg.
I felt amazing, so accomplished and all these compliments just boosted my confidence. Funnily, at the same time, my confidence was simultaneously very low. I would weigh myself almost every hour, freaking out if I just gained 0.5kg, and beating myself up when I just couldn’t burn off that little bit on my tummy.
Then, in December, whilst on holiday, I discovered a way to make myself feel accomplished; to feel complete. I started a cycle of binge eating.
Whenever I’d have my “one-off days”, I’d eat to the point where my stomach would actually hurt from the sheer weight of food stuffing it. I would hate myself, and I would doubt myself. I would tell myself that I would never be able to do anything; to succeed.
This, in conjunction with the school semester and added stress, I have gained 5kg.
This time, with no excuses, no restarting, no failing, no giving up, I know this is for real. I hope that having Tumblr will help me seal the finality for this change that I hope will be fore the rest of my life. I know that everything is up to me, but I hope that the Tumblr community can help support me and help me to trust and believe in myself.